It can be discouraging to be single and not know where you will even find men to date. It might feel like an uphill battle because you are not in the business of chasing men so how will you find someone to date? Men are everywhere so why is it so hard to find someone? Here are five (5) ways to increase your chances of men approaching you.
Online Dating
Let's start with the obvious. Online dating is a great way to meet men but there is some work you must do to increase your chances of attracting the right type of man. There are many dating sites out there and screening to find one that suits you can be a challenge. It is important to read reviews on dating apps to ensure you are joining the right one. Some dating sites and apps are for casual dating and persons looking to have a good time with no commitment towards a relationship. You must be careful to avoid such sites, if you are looking for a serious relationship. The others still have men looking to play so you will have to play your cards right to beat the players at their own game. Nonetheless, online dating is fast becoming the best way to meet men and have them approach you. Check out my free ebook How To Date Online Like A Pro that simplifies some strategies for dating online.
Running Errands
Men are indeed everywhere but somehow you are invisible to them or it feels like it. As a single high value woman, your job is to attract men not chase them. If you are a home body that orders in for everything including groceries, you have reduced yourself to meeting men only one way and that's through online dating. If you are more interested in meeting men in real life, you must get out of the house.
We are living in the age of convenience so it will feel like a task and half to start doing some things the old fashion way just to meet men but you must be willing to do what it takes. You have basic needs that must be met and in doing so they present opportunities to meet men. The most obvious is running errands. The simple act of running an errand and being active outside, increases your chance of being seen and real men approach women they like at first sight. The type of man you want will be brave enough to approach you so don't worry about having to do much work to get his attention.
If you are out and see a man that peaks your interest, don't go planting yourself in front of him so he sees you, get close enough but don't be obvious about it. I was out once and I saw a woman trying to use her booty to get the attention of a man that was eating at a table. She was talking to a group of friends and she decided to stand and turn her butt in his direction. He looked once then turned his head away and like a compass she kept repositioning her body to ensure her booty was in his face. It was hilarious to watch her butt tick like a clock everywhere his head went. Clearly this man was not interested. This is not the way you want to get a man's attention if you are looking for a serious relationship. You have to be careful of the message you are sending. Being a sexy woman is not a crime, but you make it harder to attract good men when you lead with your physical. Looking good is already working for you so don't overdo it. Let him notice something else about you that will draw him in.
If you don't see yourself as drop dead gorgeous don't be leading with the physical either. Don't try to play up your sexual energy in the hopes that it will get a man's attention. If it works you might become a one night stand. Attracting quality men is about being your authentic self and giving off an air of mystery that naturally pulls him in. This is innate in some women but for others its an acquired skill.
If you spotted a man you would like to meet, it does help to at least get in his line of sight but do not start acting like a starved hyena. Carry on doing your task. If he sees what he likes he will approach you. You don't have to spark up a conversation but it doesn't hurt to ask a question that could at least let him know you exist. I would opt to not do this though because after he's answered your question, he might not be moved to ask you anything in return. Your forwardness killed the chase if there was ever going to be one. The carnal side of a man wants to chase and kill not have your carcass rest at his feet.
Another problem is some women are out seeking the attention of men that are not available and this is where you will "force meet" the married men and those already in relationships. While these types are also brave enough to approach you, the single man is more eager to do so. This is why it is important to not help him too much, let him do the work to meet you, then he can work to keep your attention.
Remember you are a woman on a mission to attract a good man so don't be out running errands with your night night cap on, your pajamas covered by a robe and such, even if the store is next door. Make deliberate attempts to look presentable when out and about. A casual outfit that is flattering to your body type and light makeup if any is all you need. Don't be dressing for the ball to go grocery shopping.
Social Media
Social media is a cost effective way to get men to approach you. You are single so you can't miss out on the opportunity social media provides. This is where you get to showcase yourself and your assets on the world stage and the men that like it will reach out.
Maintaining your social media presence should be more about attracting the right type of man more than getting likes. Try providing diverse content that sheds some light on your personality, your interests and even your goals without being too specific. Random men looking at your socials might not readily tell that you are single, so find clever ways to make that clear so they will feel inclined to reach out to you. Its ok to show some level of vulnerability instead of just the happy go lucky side of things. This displays a more authentic picture of who you are.
Don't dump your entire life on social media. There needs to be an element of mystery about you so find tasteful ways to share without revealing everything. In attracting a man to reach out to you, he needs to feel there is something worth knowing about you. Ensure that you are not giving off a desperate vibe in what you choose to post and please don't use scary captions that tell a man to run. Keep your captions light and playful. Everything doesn't have to be heavy and intense all the time. Create balance. A man must feel that getting to know you better is a good vibe, he should be able to visualize being with a woman like you. Don't worry about being flashy all the time. Show up as your authentic self and a genuine man will like you for who you are. His perception of you needs to be close as possible to who you really are so don't fake it. Listen to episode 4 on my podcast for more information on maintaining a social media presence.
Running a Marathon
Don't cringe at this one. You may not feel up to it but running a marathon is a great way to meet men. In fact, the type of men that come out for these events are from all walks of life including those that run companies and manage diverse portfolios in business or plain old has a job. I am not saying that men that run marathons are financially stable but one true thing is that he is not a coach potato. He is clearly demonstrating a willingness to do something healthy and challenging. I might be stereotyping here but many of the men that partake in marathons have the type of discipline that could nurture a healthy relationship. It says he cares about his health and is willing to challenge himself in some things.
Now getting yourself ready to run a marathon might be a task and a half but it is worth being open to engaging some high quality men. The predators are out there in tights as well looking to trap unsuspecting women but don't obsess over that. Being the high value woman you are, you will at least attract some decent ones.
The meet and greet can happen while you are running. A man might run up alongside you and engage in conversation. This will of course begin with a laugh and you will both be trying to balance breathing and talking. Unlike women, men are not limited by their environment when they are pursuing a woman. They were born for the chase and a man will approach you even with his last breath. He might run with you the entire journey just to keep the conversation going. Hopefully not though, unless you really like him and want to know more. The point is to meet as many men as possible. Him sticking by your side significantly reduces the chance of someone else meeting you. If you are not feeling him, find a way to get him to move along.
The next opportunity of meeting men comes at the end of the race. This is where everyone gathers to refresh themselves and engage with friends. If you are there alone, simply position yourself close to a group even if you don't know them, but leave yourself open so a man can see you and approach you. Do your warm down activities but keep an eye out for someone you would like to meet. Do not engage him first though, find subtle ways for him to notice you. Sticking your butt in his face is not one of them lol.
It is at this point where persons are getting ready to leave that you will most likely meet some quality men. Some of them are on the hunt and will notice a beautiful woman like you standing there alone. Your being alone will increase his confidence about approaching you. You do not have to be a walking bombshell for a man to notice and approach you. The world is made up of all kinds and if you are confident in your skin you will naturally attract men. Have you ever noticed some women that are not what is deemed magazine cover beautiful with some men that would make your mouth water? Ever wondered how she bagged him? There could be a million reasons but chances are she did so by being her own loveable confident self. Stop being insecure about your flaws. A man will see pass your flaws and accept you for who you are when he gets the type of energy he is looking for in a woman. Looks matter but the stay factor has nothing to do with looks.
Sad to say but presentation does matter at these marathons. Be confident but do not flaunt your flaws in the name of being confident. If you are insecure about some areas of your body, wear flattering clothes. Do not let it all hang out literally in the name of "a man better love me and these love handles". He just might, but a t-shirt might be better than a sports bra in such scenarios. You could have washboard abs and still choose to wear a t-shirt with your tights to not pull too much attention with your body. Do what makes you comfortable but the aim is to attract not distract.
Networking Events
A great meeting place is where people go to have network and socialize in exclusive groups. Unlike parties and other crowded noisy places, events that target high value women and men are great avenues for attracting men. You want to place yourself in circles that pull the type of men you want to meet. Some of these events might bore you a bit but what should excite you is the fact that the nature of the event has already screened the men on your behalf. These types of events include breakfast clubs, exclusive events like conferences and closed parties etc. You might have to know someone to get you into these events but being a high value woman I am sure you have some resourceful friends.
When attending these events you want to ensure you are not only looking good but can hold wholesome conversations. A high value man wants a woman with a good head on her shoulders not just a pretty head. Your confidence, wit and intelligence will be on display and this is a great way to demonstrate your value to prospects. You might walk away from these events with more than one prospective date. Do not fall into the trap of being too platonic in these circles. A single man of interest needs to know that you are not just there to make acquaintances for work or business only. He needs to get a sense that you are open to dating. Do not project like you would for a job interview. Be light, friendly and casual. Make your personality shine through. A man needs to see that you are a good fit for his lifestyle and will be just as fun too. Be on the lookout and stay clear of married men that might try to pursue you. If you know you will be shy about mingling, bring a girlfriend along that can keep your company and help you filter the men you would like to meet. It is ok to exchange your number at these events. Be quick to open the lines of communication so you can get to know more about them after the event. Don't be Cinderella leaving a man to go on a wild goose chase to find the other foot of your glass slipper.
Get dressed and get out there. Your prince charming is out and about waiting to stumble into you in the grocery isle, at the park, at the coffee shop, at the bar (yes the cliché bar is still a thing), while at the gym or while you are simply walking. The point is to have an active life that has you out and doing things in places that men frequent which is pretty much everywhere. A man cannot chase what he can't see.
Happy hunting.
Read more blog posts and find more great content at: https://www.annahopecoachingdeck.com/
Also check out my daily podcast The Modern Independent Woman Winning at Love Podcast
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